hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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