You're completely useless in the revolution.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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