It's Friday. Sex?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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