hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
