come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
