She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
