they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
