Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
