literally had 100 drinks last night.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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