My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
