I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
