Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
