just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
