Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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