I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
