At least make sure they are 18
Why
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
