chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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