When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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