Three words: puerto rican gang bang
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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