Porn is love you can see.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
