Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
