We won't sleep together?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
