I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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