just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
So gin and wine won't be happening again
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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