So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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