You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
