Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If I die, sorry about rent.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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