Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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