just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
