Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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