And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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