dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
