You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
