I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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