If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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