erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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