he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
