I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
