too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
