you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
