He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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