your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
