you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
