Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
