Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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