is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
