I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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