Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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