I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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