how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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