it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I am midnight drunk by noon
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
