a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
