Can i not drive my cunt home
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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