i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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