I think scott just propositioned me for sex
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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