Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
