We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
